chinese-zeus:

lollipops are so weird youre literally swallowing your own flavored saliva

dutchster:

how to get laid
1. find a couch
2. lay on it
3. i’m so lonely

peevesies:

i went down to the middle school today for relay for life and i saw my old social studies teacher i had a crush on (don’t talk to me) and he was like “hey how are you i haven’t seen you in ages?” and the first thing i blurted out was “I JUST TURNED 18” and jesus christ if that’s not the thirstiest thing i’ve said in my whole life

bikinipowerbottom:

"my dad said if i get 500,000 notes on this post I can-"

image

lindsaylohoean:

me watching someone not drinking their drink when i’m really thirsty

image

andrewpauldost:

i want dogs to be allowed at more places and i want children under 6 to not be

the-jellyfox:

elena-clayton:

And he never corrects them. He might look confused but he never says “I’m not a woman”, “I’m not his wife”, “I’m not his girlfriend.” I love that. Because there’s nothing wrong or insulting about being called a woman, wife or girlfriend.

praise this ^